Recently, a teen close to me had a break-up. I thought about the various break ups I have heard about in the past few years. Some went okay, some not so good. I started to wonder if there is a “right way” to break up. Even an amicable ending hurts. I decided, being honest with yourself and respecting the other persons feelings, and the relationship, will leave you in the best possible position when you look in the mirror. Bad behavior? You have to live with that guilt and maybe even a deserved bad reputation! Who needs that baggage.
How do you know when it’s time to tell someone you are ready to move on? It’s even more difficult when you are young and newer to the whole dating/boyfriend/girlfriend thing to figure out the answer to that. Here’s some questions to consider if you are sitting on the “break-up” fence and not sure which way to go…
1) Are you interested in someone else?
2) Have you been in communication with this someone else and you feel like there is something between you?
3) Can you picture yourself without your current partner?
4) Can you envision you or your partner with another partner?
5) Do you feel insincere or distracted (rather be somewhere else) when you are with your current partner?
6) Has either of you been unfaithful or dishonest to the other?
7) Does being with your partner leave you feeling sad, angry, misunderstood or any other negative emotion on a regular basis?
8). Do you regularly wonder why you and current partner are together?
If you answered yes to any of these, it’s a sure sign that your current love life is few cherry bombs short of your fireworks love show.
First of all, if you have feelings for someone else, or you know your partner does, it seems that your current relationship is only partially intact. Maybe it’s not intact at all, you both likely don’t want to hurt the others feelings by breaking up. NEWSFLASH…you are both lready hurting! This type of dynamic likely has one or both of you feeling insecure and/or inadequate. Trust? That may not even exist depending on what’s been going on. Ouch.
If you end up feeling down, or negative after time with your current partner, is that fair to either of you as well?
Let’s face it, we fall for people that may not always be a good match for us. Sometimes it’s downright toxic (brings out all your demons). Happens to the best of us and we end up in less than ideal relationships.
Consider holding the love you have shared in the past and be honest that it’s time to hug and part ways. Hopefully with both of you feeling respected and holding your head up!
Nothing beats a secure, trusting, loving relationship to help us grow into the best version of ourselves. The right partner often inspires this in us. It’s the rare occurrence when two people meet and become life partners.
So…take ownership of your heart and your love, and nurture it. If you aren’t with the right person…it’s okay to be honest and say good-bye. Reclaim your boundaries, where needed, and decide if you should move on.
Being single with a healthy heart and mind is far better than a broken hearted couple.
Be brave. Be bold. Be well.